Soulmates app

documenting the painful moments

2020.12.04 22:05 inlovewiththethought documenting the painful moments

I fell in love with the person I thought he was. When he showed his true colors, I was in complete denial.
One of the hardest part about a break up (whether the person was truly an ex or just a guy/girl you were exclusively dating with a mutual understanding and deep feelings for eachother) is the beginning. It feels like you will never be happy again and like your whole world is falling apart.
The moment I met my "person" or you could call him my ex, either or. We were both drawn to each other, immediately. Something about being together as strangers felt so familiar to the both of us that I thought I was crazy so I didn't even mention it. But when he told me he was horrified because he had never had that happen before, I knew it wasn't just me---
After a few months- he stopped backing his words up with actions. He would say one thing but his actions would say the opposite. After telling me he loved me and that I was "the girl of his dreams," he ended it and said he needed to work on himself because he is "so broken right now" and "doesn't want to break me too"
He would block me, then unblock me. Then block me. He would text me and tell me he missed me then a few days later say he never even liked me in the first place. He played the craziest mind games it put me in a FUNK.
Every time I cried over it, or was upset, I made a video diary for it. And or I journaled about it. Sometimes, I would address it to him so that I could say whatever I was tempted to say to him, so I get the same relief out of saying what I needed to say without actually talking to him. I truly thought that I would not go a day without thinking about him or crying over him. BUT I did. And I haven't cried over him in a hot minute. BUT recording myself at my most vulnerable moments, has allowed me to see how much progress I have made. NC is SO WORTH IT YALL. I would document everything on a little calendar app on my phone and every day I made it without talking to him, I would cross the day off. Seeing alllll those days add up, also reminds me of why I am better off.
No contact for me was and still is all about recognizing my worth and realizing that if it is meant to be, it will be. Maybe not today or next month or even next year. but in the meantime, I am loving myself and preparing myself for when I meet my soulmate. maybe its him? maybe its not. I am perfectly fine with it not being him but I wouldn't be upset if it was either.

recording your journey is SOOOOOO BENEFICIAL
submitted by inlovewiththethought to ExNoContact [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 11:09 oneindolgentalmund WTF: My Soulmate is a 1994 January Aquarius

I am a ‘95 baby, so I am optimistic that most would be down for [the not-so-big idea below] since we are so used to tech and dating being intertwined — but what about astrology and dating? Should we bother ourselves with this convenience, or should we keep the mode of discovering your significant other somewhat modern and somewhat traditional: TindeHinge/etc. -OR- Love at First Sight?
My BIG QUESTION (the part that really matters)
If you were in a relationship (not married, and no kids), would you consider leaving your partner in search for a person that an app has calculated to be your soulmate?
How about... If you were actively seeking out partners, would you exit the dating pool and begin your search?
Or what if you were never dating in the first place... Would you start based on the fact that you now “KNOW” there is someone out there most compatible to you?
Aquarius are the MOST INTELLIGENT sign. I would love opinions to surface...
submitted by oneindolgentalmund to aquarius [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 06:47 bosredsox05 what the heck happened to POF? Came back after 7 years.

I Recently got divorced, so im now ready to try my hand at dating again. Met my wife on POF 7 plus years ago, and as I recall I had no problem getting likes and getting conversations going with women. I remember people really use to flesh out their profiles. You could really get a sense of who someone was by their bio. Now 95 percent of profiles have little to nothing on them. Or they just say they like to hike and travel. Who doesn't like to travel? Unless, you want to stay in the place you grew up in your whole life. I also swear 75 percent of these profiles are fake. I rarely get any likes, and im a decent looking guy. I have no problem getting female attention in real life. On here its like I don't even exist.
Most of my messages go unread, or the rare conversations I do get, either die off quickly or I get short answers and no questions back. Im always super engaging and have a genuine interest to get to know who im talking to. I dont want to make generalizations, but it seems the average woman on pof is stuck up, is just looking for male attention and validation from a dating app, has no actual interest in finding anything serious, and are just looking for the hottest guy they can find, that will most likely treat them like shit. How the hell do you expect to find your soulmate, if you just swipe away on that potential person based off one photo? Or don't even bother to get know someones personality by engaging in a conversation? RANT OVER.
submitted by bosredsox05 to POF [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 06:15 Thefirsthrowawayacct 30 [M4F] US/North America - Looking to meet new people

I'm not looking for a relationship or a soulmate. I'm not looking for a best friend to be in voice chat with all day. If we get to that point, that's great.. but slow down, I don't even know your name yet!

I'm looking to make friends. Maybe someone to ARAM or play other games with infrequently. Someone I can send memes or complain about traffic to.
I'm 30, and many think I'm already married with kids and two mortgages but the truth is I don't want kids and can't pursue a relationship the way things are currently. Maybe this makes me a manchild, maybe it's why I relate with younger people, maybe. I miss my girl friends from work and the dynamic they bring vs. my guy friends that I talk to/game with online every day.

Just please be in the US due to time zone differences. If you enjoy music of all kinds, watching shows or streams, PC gaming, or just talking about nothing, I'm sure we'll have enough in common. Would prefer to move to Discord eventually, don't really use any other apps.
submitted by Thefirsthrowawayacct to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 04:10 Worldly_Lobster Secret Santa Cupid strikes again

Secret Santa is Reddit Gifts biggest exchange of the year and it's only open for signups until Monday! And you never know who you'll be matched to! These two found their soulmate when they were matched to each other. But even if you don't find true love, you could still make some really special holiday magic happen in a year that's been pretty devoid of magic.
Sign up here. Sign-ups close at 9am PST on Monday ⏰
submitted by Worldly_Lobster to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.12.04 03:35 shesaveryfreakygirl A trainwreck from the start!

So I'll begin from the start this my boyfriend of just about two years its gonna be a long onetrigger warning... We met in November it was just sex at first I fell in love probably the second time he came over. I only had one previous relationship very inexperienced in the relationship department. Hes 5 years older than me and very handsome and just way to good with his words so hes gotten around to say the least. At this point in my life I was an alcoholic drank everyday after work all night long he accompanied me in this we watched movies, laughed, talked, had amazing sex, and just layed there together letting the rest of the world disappear. One night I go through his phone an god what a wake up call he was bragging to his brother how he slept with me, another woman, and his childs mother within three days. Saying the other woman was better than me an also he was living with his childs mother at that point and time. He wakes up asking what's wrong I tell the phone hes like well we never said we were exclusive. Blah blah blah "you can have the title if you want it". After this I cut contact because well stop it why I had the chance. He calls my work asking if i was there. I gave in called him he asks what's wrong. I tell well I feel as if it was all a lie. He says it was very real I'm special blah blah blah. He comes he goes one night I discover the drug use. A different occasion he drinks almost a whole bottle of rum turns into a completely different person almost killed me like literally talking to people who weren't there. I had scratched him all up punched him all in the fight to get him from suffocating me to death. He wakes up asks what happened I'm like are you fucking serious he cries and breaks apart telling me how sorry he is that this happens sometimes. Crying in my lap. A grown man completely falling apart , vulnerable, exposed to me. This is probably when I really got myself in to deep. I'm a very good person my heart's way too big an I care entirely too much. My mother died when I was 16 , his mother died the same year. Two adults who are really broken children with no guidance or that unconditional love we became intertwined to each other. I loved him deeply gave him the kind of love he was missing. Yes it's odd but youd have to gone through it to get what I'm saying. He made me feel safe , he understood me , and he knew the only thing I desired was to just be loved. We understood eachother more then any words can explain. Even within this understanding hes hurt me than any person in my life. Fast forward he moves in after his children's mother throws him out(at the time he tells me shes crazy) I of course being the superhero I am get your stuff and live with me. So he does. The extent of the drug use comes to light. He was an intravenous user and hardcore drugs was what he liked. In February he goes to jail for probation violation for the drug use. I stay in contact , support him , put money on his books. He gets out in May comes back home with me not even a day hes getting high and drunk again. Hes hanging out with this girl brings her to my apartment with some other guy and shes a pretty blonde but they all use drugs and I know hes into that disgusting stuff he flirts with blatantly in my face. He leaves doesnt come home all night I assume he's cheating so I start messing around with my old FWB. With the use of the alcohol I didnt think clearly an took actions without thinking at all. I couldn't be alone god my heart hurt so bad I could feel it in my chest I literally thought I'd die. This other guy we had sex then talked about my relationship the whole time. I gave him my body but my mind was still obviously with him. This happened a few times I'm not justifying it at all at the time it was the only way to cope it seemed. That summer was the worst hell I've ever lived. In the mix of this there were a few other one night stands out of drunken nights I barely remember. Hes still using drugs and starts to run low on money I'm assuming and beats me up takes my rent money goes gets drugs. He comes back tells me he'll give me the majority of my money back if I do these drugs with him. I refuse and refuse. But eventually give in. He tells me its molly. He intravenously gave it to me. I went to another universe starting crying and was instantly addicted. He never gave my money back and it was meth he took my money got me hooked and I gave him everything i had. That summer in hell consisted of constantly being hit. We fell apart more than we even were but somehow the drugs seemed to bring us together. I wouldnt eat and didnt sleep for days at a time. My sanity dissapeared within about a month. I got extremely paranoid and had delusions it still sticks with me to this day. We did the same monotonous routine for almost 3 months. Towards the end we hated eachother. I couldn't do it anymore I had sores all over my body and abscesses from track marks. I'm sure people noticed at work. I wanted it to end he kept going and going till August he got picked up again on a probation violation. I got myself together as much as I could. I still was drinking socially but I wasnt feeling right an always sick. The end of August i look in the mirror at work an instantly knew i was pregnant by the shape of my stomach. I went an got a pregnancy test it turned immediately to positive. I went to the hospital I was concerned with the heavy drug use. They did a sonogram I seen my baby. I lost it. They told me the heartbeat was normal everything looked fine. I was 16 weeks pregnant. I told him while still in jail he had his doubts of if he was the father. I was so happy I felt as though this was meant to happen. How could I develop a baby inside me doing the hard drugs I was doing and I didnt eat for 4 days at a time. I had a healthy pregnancy no complications whatsoever thank god. He goes to rehab from jail. His grandmother passed while he was I'm there which pushed him and his children's mother together and he shut me out. My pregnancy was so dark and lonely and I've never felt more alone. The anxiety of how I was going to do this made me feel like I couldn't breathe.( I have no family besides my younger brother and one friend) He came home before Thanksgiving he ditches me to go stay in a hotel with his two kids and their mother. Come to find out the whole time he was lying who's house he was at and they were still together apparently. So this woman was so hurt she knew I was pregnant and who I was. She texted me saying he wants to move away with me and doesnt claim you or that baby. They dont work out he comes back later that day I tell him to go I dont want him there but he doesn't listen controls me. He gets on meth again and uses in front of me doesnt care at all about the pregnancy. He was distant and treated me horribly the time he was home. But to not confuse we had our good times. Every night we slept together intertwined bodies together and that was enough the feeling that brought me. He got in trouble again 3 weeks later for drug use goes away till my son is born in March. He gets out the day after hes born comes to hospital hours after he gets out of jail(you would think he'd be rushing there!) He says he went and got dinner with his brother and had a drink. Red flag already but hes an experienced father I'm scared I have no idea what I'm doing. He stayed with me slept on the cot in the room we held our son and felt complete for the time. The day I'm supposed to get released he dissapeared I got him a cell phone to keep in touch as he had to go to a daily reporting center to get drug tested. I dont pester him because you're not with your girlfriend and 3 day old child it's just ridiculous. I cried and cried I felt soo alone how was I gonna do this. This tiny little life I was responsible for. Two days went by I took care of my son and finally called and he was on a drug binge and met a girl. He said he would be home. I think another day went by he finally did completely out of his mind hallucinating from not sleeping and doing meth. Calling me this girls name he was partying with saying she was his soul mate. I felt so broken to be cheated on right after I gave birth and left. Now here to collect the peices again this broken man laying in my lap telling me how he hates himself and he doesnt know what to do. He needs me he loves me. Blah blah blah. We now have a child hes a great father when hes there. This reporting center gets shit down due to covid. He goes off the handles using all the time taking my money and the girl he met hes calling her and texting her sexting even. He just tells me its entertainment get over it. I eventually fall in and relapse with him I hated it the feeling the paranoia. I would sit and stare at my son. I felt so dirty. That lasted a few weeks here and there. He stopped with the women but continued with the drugs. He almost died from an infection from picking himself while high. So he switches to heroin. This makes him so angry and the things he did to me. Told me I couldn't move from the couch , threw koolaid on me, told me I could touch our son if I didn't give him money for drugs. This went on for awhile it was complete abusive hell I cried and he just was so evil and heartless. He got arrested again in August. He calls me crying saying how hes so sorry and he needs to change. This time seemed different honestly he was fully devoted to me we opened up to eachother more than before. We talked everyday multiple times a day while hes in jail. The courts let him go to rehab again because he obviously has a problem. I visited him twice the second time took his other two sons to see him the kids all played we were so happy in that moment. We talked about getting his youngest son to the other woman and made plans. This is nothing like we discussed before. I really thought he changed and we were gonna build a life together. He even opened up to me about being molested as a child. He goes through rehab and when the time comes for it to end he either comes home and goes to that same daily reporting center or goes and hour and a half a way to a sober living house. So he goes to the sober living house he comes home first gets blankets, my extra tv , towels, and just you know me playing mother again. We had sex and layed there I Express my deep concern for his issues with other woman and he tells me have confidence in myself I'm his wife blah blah blah hes coming home in a month. So off he goes the same night he video calls me when he gets there so excited to start this new start. I was happy for him but I knew somewhere inside of me I was letting him go. I knew what was gonna happen. Two days later I already have my suspicions he quiets it. I go into his email I made him for something he asked me to do for him I come across dating profile websites an ad from craigslist of a woman asking for oral sex near him and he responded. Also he made a facebook after he knew that he didnt have one in the past because all he used it for was women. He says oh the dating profiles were for webcam chatting for masturbation and the facebook to keep in touch with family. I let go a little my heart was in my stomach after months of my devotion to him it takes 2 days for him to do this to me. I go on the facebook(he didnt even use his real name) all women hes adding an are liking his pictures. An I dont need to see to know hes talking to them. He added ths girl he previously referred to as his soulmate. I'd had enough o blocked him on every single platform. He gets in contact with my bestfriend saying hes going to kill himself I cant do this I have his son. Then calls the police on me saying I'm in danger. I still wouldnt talk to him. He shows up to my house grabbing me trying to kiss me. I tell him to get away I'm done foreal this time. I changed my phone number and he threatened to take the baby if I didn't give him my number so I do. He takes my phone then and tells me unless I come with him to his fathers hes keeping it.So I get dressed and we go walking through town like a family hes asking for us back. He showed me his phone and low and behold he was doing everything I suspected. He was gonna stay the night at my house and we were going to discuss things. He was supposed to go to a NA meeting as part of having his overnight pass. He steps inside a family's restaurant to show them the baby I wait outside. Hes on the phone laughing and smiling with someone. He comes out saying hes gonna get coffee with a few guys go to the meeting and he will be home. I take my son home, hours pass and from past experience I know hes not coming back. I didnt try to call neither did he nor text. I finally called at 7am after not sleeping all night. He calls back at 10 am nonchalantly saying he couldn't get a ride back. I was done. I blocked everything didnt speak for almost a week. I let him video call his son and of course he's trying to get me back. I know I cant do this anymore an officially this man will never change. My bestfriends boyfriend lives 30 minutes from his sober living house and she asked me to come stay. I asked if she would take me to his house and I would stay the night with her. She agreed as I explained I needed closure. I wanted him to admit to what he had done to see if he could possibly be honest about it. I get there hes being weird doesnt greet me or anything. I start bickering because you should be on your knees begging for me. Anyway we go up to his room talk and it comes out "I went to the bar with my sister Brittney an oldest friend Kaitlyn". Boom. One Brittney is not your sister. Two I know friend is code for someone I have sexual history for. (I've learned to listen through the bullshit as to what he was really saying through the two years) Plus this Kaitlyn girl was all over his facebook and liked all his pictures. Oh an I didnt mention he was down in town again before this tried breaking in my apartment at 2 am then 10 am again and left without success. So my assumptions are it didnt just happen once with this girl. And he says that all the girls out there are dirty and nasty then goes on to say how women want titles and relationships. Then later on says how someone said to him they couldn't be friends with him. Maybe that girl idk. He never came clean about anything. The whole time I was quiet and distant with an attitude. Regardless of that we bonded laid in bed, kissed, he mostly talked, and I gave him oral sex. He wouldnt have sex with me claiming i would get pregnant i played the card I didnt know whod he had been with. He said that's against my rule I dont do that to my children's mothers. Well that was a lie an I called him on it. He just talked himself out of it. I end up staying the night and we fall asleep I wake up to him cuddled up to me. Here we are intertwined again bare bodies together feet touching each other. God why do I do this to myself. He had his lips on my forehead asleep. I didnt sleep that night I just let my mind wonder an embrace this because this was it I was done. This man was nothing special how had I let some child boy play with my heart for almost 2 years and cause me so much pain. I woke up at 8 am and told my friend I wanted to go he woke up to me dressed putting my shoes on. He asked what I was doing I told him I was leaving. He got very upset said at least have breakfast, let's have sex, and just pleading. My friend had to drive 30 minutes so I had a little bit of time. He starts threatening me that hes not letting me leave hes taking my phone he doesn't care about the police blah blah blah. I played him I made him love me just to leave. He was always the victim. So he makes me lay back down with him I was fully clothed he cuddles up to me asking if we were done I told him yes while crying. Because it fucking hurt an I knew it was true this time. He asked what we could do to save the relationship and got my phone went through it as he knew the passcode. He seen some promoting I was doing for my onlyfans and went ballistic calling me every name in the book. Then said let's switch phones it's probably the only way to save the relationship. I told him it was over he did what he did. My ride got there I went down the steps he asked if I loved him I didnt answer. He gave me a kiss told me he loved me an I left. I cried that whole day I felt so torn because I knew there was no saving this. I just had to feel this pain. He kept calling me and texting me saying baby. I told him to just stop I'd let him talk to his son when I got home that night. As I did but I quickly realized I couldn't have contact and heal. I texted him explaining howd he hurt me so bad and I couldn't have contact but I would send him pictures and videos of his son. (Hes not old enough to speak anyway). So I block all contact. Thanksgiving passed this past Thursday he leaves a voicemail on my phone asking to video chat sense it was the holidays. I call him hes sitting outside alone all depressed I let him see the baby he tells me we look good and said okay we're gonna go. He says so that's it that's all I get. I told him he made his choice an it was time to live with actions. I didnt speak to him again. His father got ahold of me yesterday telling me that he got arrested that night after he went got drunk and got into a fight. He was finished with probation in two weeks but now was facing new charges on top of a probation violation. So hes in a new county , hes not used to it. He sent me an email request to add his inmate number on an app to talk. I just ignored it but j cant help thinking he got exactly what he deserved. I hope he gets it now that you cant treat good people who were nothing but good to you like garbage. Somewhere in me I'm afraid he'll actually commit suicide an I know hes in a world of regret. My head tells me let it go and finally heal and move on with my life I'm better off right? Theres my heart telling me to save him that I can change him with enough love and support also that he needs me no one puts money on his books or writes him while in jail besides me. I'm not going to have contact an I'm not happy or smug because he got exactly what he deserves. I'm sad. I feel empty an I feel as though I'll never be able to love again. How do I even began to heal? This man has crushed me to pieces I act like im okay for my son but im not. I'm a single mother raising a son on my own. I dont drive , my apartment is so small, and im currently not working because of daycare. I was supposed to start school in January but my finiacal aid fell through. I just want to be happy and successful but god I'm in a million pieces and dont know where to begin to pick them up. If you read this thank you I've never told anyone the whole truth of it all but here it is.
submitted by shesaveryfreakygirl to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]


2020.12.03 08:03 Thefirsthrowawayacct 30M - I'm just looking for new female friends

I'm not looking for a relationship or a soulmate. I'm not looking for a best friend to be in voice chat with all day. I think if these things happen, it's naturally.

I'm looking to make friends. Maybe someone to ARAM or play other games with infrequently. Someone I can send memes or complain about traffic to. Don't get me wrong, if we click and happen to want to spend a lot of time together, I won't complain. With that said, I just don't want to force anything.

I'm 30, and many think I'm already married with kids and two mortgages but the truth is I don't want kids and can't pursue a relationship the way things are currently. Maybe this makes me a manchild, maybe it's why I relate with younger people, maybe fuck them kids. I miss my girl friends from work and the dynamic they bring vs. my guy friends that I talk to/game with online every day.

Just please be in the US due to time zone differences. If you enjoy music of all kinds, watching shows or streams, PC gaming, or just talking about nothing, I'm sure we'll have enough in common. Would prefer to move to Discord eventually, don't really use any other apps.
submitted by Thefirsthrowawayacct to Needafriend [link] [comments]


2020.12.02 09:35 Icy_Elevator_7886 You will love again and you can love someone who is even better for you and will being compatible with you!

I read this article that was written by a guy who has being trying to find his soulmate for 10 years and although he says there will only ever be 3 people that will absolutely blow us away in our lives, there are loads of people we will be compatible with!
It helped me a lot and I think it will do the same for you all, have a read.and this applies for girls as well, Mr right is out there😎
https://www.reddit.com/seduction/comments/k4sj8e/compatibility_and_matches_in_dating_and_sex/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
submitted by Icy_Elevator_7886 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 15:20 OnlyGenz No Nuance November- episode edition

I saw a post like this so credits to that person!
• Full CC > limited/no CC
• I can read stories with bad grammar and spelling if the plot and characters are good.
•Half of the MCs on the app are pick me girls.
•Mafia should just have another section, they hog the romance and Drama section.
•Stories with Teaches student love should be taken out of the app since irl, they are illegal.
•I cannot read a story with multiple LI.
•The humour in this app sucks.
•the “We are so different, we could never be together” trope is soooo overused, it hurts. I would rather see two Jaded people fall in love or two people with Golden retriever energy fall in love
•The age gaps between MCs and LI are too big.
• Random pregnancy’s suck and it sucks even more when literally no one ever gets an abortion, even when they are clearly incapable of taking a child.
•The kiss list is actually a really weird concept if you think about it.
•Most LI and MC don’t even have chemistry, they just make chemistry.
• Some of the “soulmate couples” aren’t even soulmates because of the amount of miscommunication.
•I can’t read stories with multiple endings, It’s too much pressure for my indecisive @ss.
submitted by OnlyGenz to Episode [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 00:04 newtotownJAM I’m a dentist for monsters. Sometimes it’s better to say goodbye.

It’s me. Doctor Dayna Danworth. Your friendly neighbourhood... fuck this.
Excuse my outburst but is there any point anymore? You know who I am and you know why we’re here. Let’s skip the small talk.
You got me. I’ve been keeping a pretty big secret from you and although many of you had your suspicions you need to know that I couldn’t confirm them. And more importantly, why I couldn’t confirm them.
I didn’t want you to think of her that way. Another spectacle to fawn over like the rest of my patients. A creature of social and scientific interest with no real depth beyond pure fascination. Really it comes down to a rather simplistic issue.
I didn’t want you to see her as a monster. Not her. Not my Coco.
When Evan died, violently and brutally at the hands of the Beast of Cordyline Hill, for a moment the world stood still. The crimson blood spilled across the floor of the dirty, wooden shack was the only macabre colour in a scene of pure grey.
That moment felt hopeless. Desperate. Like it was never going to end. The only sound I could hear was Pearl’s cries. My daughter calling out for me, begging me in her own unintelligible way to come to her. And I couldn’t.
I froze.
Fight or flight . They’re the two human reactions to stressful situations that are often discussed as if they’re the only options. No one talks about freeze. In that moment; that excruciatingly extended moment, feet stuck to the ground, I felt like the most worthless mother alive.
Coco’s reaction didn’t fit any of those painfully human boxes. Her reaction wasn’t simply to fight, it was so much more than that. Her reaction came with more humanity than many of us can ever hope to muster. No fight, flight or freeze.
Only protect.
The Beast looked up in sheer terror at Coco’s enormous, shadowed form. She’d become a mass of infinite blackness, tendrils of darkness forming an ethereal incarnation of her distinctive braids.
I looked up at her too but not with a look of terror. From me, it was a look of awe and admiration. She looked just as she did when we first met, terrifying and lovely.
“What are you?!” The Beast called out, genuine fear etching itself across his previously murderous face.
I laughed. The power dynamic had taken a dramatic turn. The Beast cowered behind the corpse of the boy who’s heart he’d ripped out. Suddenly the blood that coated the monster wasn’t so sinister.
Suddenly the giant man seemed so small.
“She’s your worst nightmare.” I answered flippantly, feeling the smug grin that I was struggling to conceal as I peeled my left foot from the ground, making a break for Pearl.
I grabbed hold of my baby, turning my back to the rotting wall and clutching her beautiful little face to my chest. Her fangs dented my skin through my clothes but I didn’t care. She’d already watched Evan die, she didn’t need to witness any more death.
The darkness that engulfed the shack felt warm and inviting, the opposite of what you might expect given the circumstances. It took me back to university; to the night that I’d woken up to that same darkness and to my neurotic roommate cowering in her bed.
I shut my eyes and remembered the moment Coco and I became family.
Michelle was a drip of a girl, she had a nervous disposition and was scared of everything. I had originally been disappointed when I was assigned to room with her, certain that I would be doomed to a mundane existence.
Little did I know that Michelle would give me the greatest gift I could’ve hoped for at the time, until I met Eudora Finch years later.
Our first night together in the dorm I woke to that darkness, to the enormous shadowed figure towering over the bed opposite mine. Ignorant of the monsters that walk among us I felt the same fear that Michelle did, even if only for a moment.
“What’s happening?” I begged to no avail, the room remained silent and just like in the Beast’s shack, I remained frozen.
The monster didn’t attack, she just floated, an ethereal spectre in the corner of the small dorm room. Despite her deep black voids in place of eyes I could sense the pain that the monster felt. That Coco felt.
I can’t explain my reaction, or why I felt such a deep sympathy for the shadow I’d never met. I often wonder if it was the sole reason I was headhunted for paranormal services. Perhaps even the reason that I am who I am today.
I didn’t scream, or run. I froze. I just sat on my bed, watching the shadow in awe.
Michelle didn’t answer my question, not until the next day. She was catatonic at the time, mentally tortured by her fear of the creature that visited her every night.
I came to learn that Coco had originally been a creation of Michelle’s vivid imagination, a friend. As a child she had been someone that my roommate leant on, a wonderful made up person who provided a playmate, a sister and a confidant for her creator.
In all my years working with monsters and the unexplainable I have never come across another like Coco. A creature that was willed into being by human determination and loneliness.
As Michelle grew older so did Coco. Her parents became concerned that their daughter was living in a fantasy land, with an imaginary friend that had long outstayed her welcome.
Out of concern they pleaded with their daughter to say goodbye, insisting she would never live a normal life if she continued to talk about “Coco.”
Eventually, after enough ribbing and counselling, Michelle started to agree with them, she told Coco that it was time to go and that she needed to move on. She didn’t realise that she had created something entirely sentient, that any control she had was gone.
Lost and confused Coco stayed by her friend’s side, desperate to rekindle the relationship and without anywhere else to go. Michelle felt the loss of control and one night, during a particularly terrifying nightmare about her unshakeable friend, the shadow was born.
Coco had gone from an innocuous plaything to a nightmare, still bound by Michelle’s imagination despite the autonomy she had already gained.
Every night without fail the shadow would appear, forged by Michelle’s fear. Coco was trapped; eventually no longer able to appear as the friendly entity that she wanted so badly to be.
My roommate had stopped discussing her problem with anyone. Her parents put her through years of mental health treatment, therapy and meds to address the night terrors but none of it worked. In truth, I believe they wrote her off as a disturbed individual, packing her off to university to avoid the issue.
I’d never believed in fate before, it was a concept that I found quite insulting given my own unfortunate upbringing.
My mind changed during my conversation with Michelle. She opened up to me, grateful that someone finally believed her and saw what she was facing. Most poignantly she changed my life with a single sentence.
“You’re the only person who’s ever been able to see her.”
On our second night together I stayed awake, waiting for the shadow to appear. I watched Michelle shake in the corner as the thick darkness crawled over every surface, pulling at her hair and sobbing.
And I watched as the shadow sobbed too.
You couldn’t see it, tears didn’t fall through the darkness. But I felt an instant connection to the spectre, a visceral version of her pain. The initial fear of the sighting was gone and having heard her story, I wanted so badly to see the person that Coco was supposed to be.
“It’s nice to meet you... Coco. My name is Dayna.” I attempted in a moment of sheer curiosity, not expecting any kind of response from the shadow.
I wish I could offer a solid explanation as to what happened next but I just can’t. As I sat and willed the creature, heart heavy with intense empathy like I’d never felt before, she started to shrink.
It was a perfect reverse of the situation that was currently unfolding in the shack. The darkness crept down each wall of our dorm and Michelle looked on in disbelief.
Within moments, sat on the edge of my bed, was a beautiful young girl; around my age with long dark braids that cascaded down her back, deep brown eyes and a smile warmer than I’d ever seen.
“Hello Dayna. Do you want to be friends?” She answered in the same peppy tone I’ve come to treasure.
I nodded, barely noticing my roommate, frozen with shock on her own bed. I couldn’t see anything but Coco.
“I do... but you have to say goodbye.” I answered, nodding in the direction of the terrified girl. Coco, tearfully stood and walked towards her, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead before rejoining me.
As I said I wish I could offer a solid explanation. I’m a scientist after all, a doctor. But I can’t. I only have one simple theory as to why I was able to free her from the shadow she never wanted to be.
Coco and I are soulmates.
Her tie to Michelle was broken and her life finally began, intertwined with mine. I saw her for the person she was and miraculously, so did others. For the first time since her inception Coco was visible... whole.
Whatever curse Michelle’s nightmares had inflicted on her was broken, and from day one we were inseparable. Michelle fled the university, both traumatised and relieved, ready to start fresh at home. We never kept in touch but I do hope that she found some peace.
I only ever saw the shadow a few more times; once when a boy on my course attempted to spike my drink and again when I was attacked by a patient, two years after opening the practice. Neither survived.
And of course, in the shack with the Beast.
As I clutched my baby I watched as Coco raised a shadowed arm, shards of darkness making up claws at the extremities, slowly, bringing it down towards the Beast with speed and intensity.
“PLEASE-“ he begged but she didn’t give him a chance.
Three deep wounds appeared across his face, neck and body as she tore through his clothing. In seconds he was knocked to the ground, whimpering in more pain than he had been when I performed his dental work without anaesthesia.
I revelled in his misery, still heartbroken by the sight of Evan’s mangled corpse. I hugged Pearl tightly, knowing that with us she would always be safe. Coco flashed me a look with her voided eyes and she reached down to the monster who laid on the floor.
Imitating his own method of murder she forced a dark, clawed hand into his chest and routed around, searching for a heart I wasn’t convinced was there. Instead she ripped at his lungs, tearing the muscle apart and dragging them out of the opening she created.
Just before she tore the red, raw muscles in two the Beast faced me and left me with one final foreboding warning, rasping as he haemorrhaged on the dirty ground.
“She’ll never be yours. I’ll haunt you forever.”
It happened fast. The whimpering stopped and the darkness fell. Soon all that remained were two bodies, one belonging to the Beast and the other belonging to Evan.
The shadow was replaced by Coco. Bright and beautiful as always she smiled warmly at me, just as she had that night in the dorm room.
“Thank you.”
I pulled her in close and we stood amongst the blood and innards for just a short moment, sharing a family embrace. I felt the hole in our unit left behind by Evan, devastated by his loss. Despite the sadness I mostly felt gratitude. Gratitude for my baby, for my life and mostly for my wonderful friend. Coco.
Pearl let out a small giggle before extending a tiny hand out to play with Coco’s braids. She looked up at her with pure love in her eyes and I knew that their bond, like ours, was for eternity.
Cordyline Hill was especially beautiful that morning. As we exited the shack and silently got in the car there wasn’t any awkwardness, just a strong feeling of relief.
I sat in the back with Pearl, enjoying every sound and gargle she made and Coco played with the radio, driving much more carefully than she had on our way there. The sun beamed in the sky and I could swear Evan was still with us, even if only in spirit.
The journey to building my family had been a tumultuous one, filled with hurdles, difficulties and monsters. But in that moment none of it mattered. We were going home. Together.
And then they all lived happily ever after. The end.
I know. I wish it were the end too. Beautiful right? We slew the Beast, freed the baby and drove off into the distance. It was poetic.
Life did return to normal for a time, I reopened the practice, went back to No more Nightmares and hired a new sitter for Pearl; A boy named Devon, a wonderful person but no replacement for Evan.
I spent months going about my daily business. Loving and lamenting Coco for her poor reception skills and bonding with my beautiful daughter. Life was perfect.
It was.
Now I want you to think back to the moment I started chronicling my adventures here.
You remember Mosaph Eurastix right? The monster I had suspected was some kind of twisted version of a zombie. I’m sure none of you have forgotten him in a hurry.
Think back to the words he said to me as he sat in my chair. The words that changed my life and sent my perfect little world out of orbit.
“You came highly recommended by the Beast of Cordyline Hill.”
I didn’t mention his death or even the Beast’s real impact on me at the time, playing him off as just another, albeit hated, patient. I wanted you to truly understand first. There was far too much to explain in a few paragraphs.
Forgive me for misleading you, it was never my intention.
I wondered if he had communicated with Mosaph in the short time between our first meeting at the convention and his “death” in the shack. I had desperately hoped that was the explanation.
Since I started sharing this journey I’ve learned that I was mistaken. The Beast is alive and he’s out there. We should never have underestimated his healing abilities. It’s only a matter of time before he comes back for us.
These past months have been tough, the Beast hasn’t been the only threat I’ve needed to worry about. Despite her behaviour towards him, when Carla Parks learned of her sons death and my involvement she was livid. Understandably so.
My perfect life was shattered. Now I have to protect Pearl again, not only from the Beast but also from the ethical organ collectors and Mosaph himself who, unfortunately, I hadn’t seen the last of.
This will be the last you hear from me for quite some time. It’s better that way. I need to focus, to do everything I can to preserve the normality that we worked so hard for and most importantly, to protect my daughter at all costs.
One day I hope to return and to continue sharing what I’ve learned of the monster world with you.
Until then it’s time I run from it.
TCC
submitted by newtotownJAM to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 15:29 Big_Trip9988 Sugaring in South American

I am currently living in South America (I am divorced) and "suggar" seems to be a very common requirement of young local women aged 18-23, particulary students. I meet my suggars on a well-known dating app where you find matches and put them in a matchbox. Some girls openly state on their profiles that they are looking for "suggar". Others do not, but if they match with me, (I am 65 years old) and they are under 25, then they probably are. Currently I have 27 new matches from the last month, so not exactly a rare phenomenon.
Usually after a bit of discussion, we take it to Whatsapp and then exchange photos and personal information, life stories, interests, pictures of pets and places, and meetability. Most live with their parents, so have to be discreet and arranging meetings can be a problem. They also have commitments with classes, family businesses, caring for younger children in the family, and so on.
Some get ruled out at the screening stage. One wanted to work out an arrangement for her virginity, and another wanted to introduce a friend for a double dose of suggar. Another wanted funding for opening a restaurant, and actually did have a sound business plan, as her family had previously run a restaurant at a resort in the Andes mountains.
22-year-old says: "it is hard to get out when my mom is there, because she is very strict, but my abuela is much more permissive."
Right now I have three "suggars" and I am a little in love with all three. One is pre-college, one is a law student, one is a student elementary school teacher, and I also have a final year med school candidate whom I have met, who is waiting for an opening.
At our initial meeting she was working in a clinic where additional patients were added on, and she eventually arrived 3 hours late. But we chatted a bit, and she helped me to find a business I was looking for in her large and complicated city. She can pay for her medical school, but to do post graduate training she will need to raise funds.
The only requirements I have for suggars is that they be beautiful and highly intelligent. My pre-college girl who is stuck at home during the "pandemia" is probably the smartest of them all and feels like a soulmate, which is absurd given the disparity in ages.
Unlike a lot of SD/SB pairings in North America, we have no secret identities. I know their full names and ID numbers, and they know mine. It is better than way for safety. Their safety is important for me. Contraceptive pills and injections are available free everywhere, but other backups may be used, at least early on in the relationship.
Suggaring seems like a dream come true, but even so it gets old, and I think I will become monogamous with one to avoid the stress. She is not the most attractive, but she sends me daily voice messages reminding me to wear a mask and wash my hands, so I know she values me as an asset. Also she has a beautiful voice, which alone is worth sugar. And she cried when her dog was on an IV for low platelets.
So, "suggaring" is a big thing south of Panama, and within the reach of most retirees. On my dating app profile, I do mention that I speak Spanish, but on Whatsapp you can communicate quite well by dictating messages in English and using a translation app. This is much faster than typing with one finger, as long as you check the translation. One time my dictation stated that I was going to a certain city, and the translations said "I am going to kill a child", which is not a good look.
(The above is typed on a desktop computer.)
Would welcome any comments from others with similar experiences.
submitted by Big_Trip9988 to sugarlifestyleforum [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 06:53 LatinoRich Advice for couple who just had unexpected swinging/threesome experience [MFF]

Good evening everyone! Brand new to the Reddit world and a lot of the terms but I visited the wiki to try and educate myself.
To keep it short my fiancé and I have just experienced a threesome with her good friend. The sexual experiences shared between us was amazing from our side (fiancé and I) but turmoil on the other end.
We’ve been together for 4 years, engaged for 1 (fucking Covid ruining our wedding plans) and she’s without a doubt my soulmate. This wasn’t my first threesome I was in my early 20’s for those but this new adventure has us feeling the New Relationship Energy in a positive way. Were anyone else’s sexual appetite multiplied significantly? We can’t stop talking about how hot and turned on we were watching one another with the third party.
The primary reason for my post was to seek advice on how I offer support to my fiancé, we’ve emphasized the importance of communicating all our feelings surrounding the event and if there are any issues or boundaries that were or have been crossed. She stated she’s on a high right now and would let me know if she felt any different in the future but present day she’s a whole new person (in a great way) sexually. Even more hands on, flirty, lots or sexting and nudes when we’re not together, no complaints from me but when this inevitably wears off do you advise we revisit these memories as a pleasant reminder or will that lead to feeing unfulfilled? I mean every relationship is different but the more experienced minds and advice the better!
Since joining Reddit we’ve been engaging in civil and informative discourse with other, we figured we ask so we’re aware of red flags/problems others in here have faced. Thanks everyone! Wish I found out about this app earlier in life!!
submitted by LatinoRich to Swingers [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 01:45 MikeWarriorUS I (54M) discovered a marriage agency where I'm getting a ton of attention from beautiful women, some (30F to 47F) of which I have developed a relationship with. I need your help on this...

Marriage agencies oftentimes used by older men (30-70 years old) who have accumulated their wealth over time but somehow unable to find a bride with which to share his life in his home country. He comes across an overseas marriage agency notably Ukraine. Now Ukraine has many beautiful women who are very feminine who grow up in a culture that says it's best to marry early and have a family. By the time a woman in Ukraine reaches 30, and she isn't married, the culture frowns on this. Unlike the West where many American women are told they don't need a man, focus on making money with their careers, hookups are encouraged, and online dating boosts their ego to try and find the unattainable perfection because of all the attention they get on those apps, Many American women, in fact, will want to start a family in their mid to late 30's or 40's even 50 years old!
So some men have turned their attention to marriage agencies overseas to help them find a soulmate. A woman who acts more feminine. This is a billion-dollar industry in Ukraine also Ukraine has the largest scammer problem in that industry, most of the marriage agencies use women, sometimes just their pictures to scam men into giving the site or the girl, even the translator (by overcharging) in giving them money or gifts. When they visit a marriage agency site, you pay for letters, live text chat, and video chat. For some sites, you have to pay a fee to obtain her phone number! For other sites, you have to pay for a tour to meet the woman in person then you can ask for her number. It is certainly an expensive investment with a lot of risks.
But unlike dating apps in America where most men don't get many responses from women, they are interested in and for some, it is hard to meet singles especially when a crisis is going on, but in these sites, the men are treated like rock stars by the ladies. Sometimes it's 230 more women trying to get a man's attention to write, or live text chat or video chat. A man develops an interest in some of the women. He writes and video chats with a few of them. But now he is hearing stories of men who develop these relationships online. Go to Ukraine, and find out she is a scammer who wants many expensive gifts and food or if she is not a scammer changes her mind very quickly for some reason and ends the relationship!
I have been dabbling into one of the marriage agencies, but I'm thinking of pulling out, I may in fact go overseas to date and see if there is someone there that I could marry. I have developed a relationship with some of the women, but I have my doubts if it's real or not. One woman, I ended it with when she asked me to buy her a boiler for her apartment...lol...I had her number so her request wasn't on the site, and we didn't communicate for long off the site. Some have told me Slavic women are taught to be very reliant on the man, but when you know someone for two months and never met them in person, and she is asking for support or as she put as a "gift" I suspect a scam. What do you think?
submitted by MikeWarriorUS to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 00:39 ChubblesMcgee103 Is Sam a cheating bastard?

So I looked up what happens if you dat multiple people because I'm currently dating Sam, and am going to break up with her because I hardly ever see her. She shows up to ask me out far less than Arlo and even Dr.Xu, who I'm not dating and am only at the "good friends" level while she's at maxed out soulmate.
Anyway, the results I found from looking up what happens, she says this: "How could you do this?! I can't believe you're seeing someone else as well ! I'm so disappointed. "
And the last piece of evidence is this right here: https://www.reddit.com/mytimeatportia/comments/g3ehjy/is_it_me_or_does_my_baby_have_remingtons_hair_i/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

I'm looking waaaay too deeply into this lol, but I think it's clear folks, Sam's a dirty cheating bastard.
submitted by ChubblesMcgee103 to mytimeatportia [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 04:54 ashketchumm_ how do i know if this person is my twin flame?

i met this person through a dating app (wasn’t expecting to meet someone serious). we started talking and there were so many similarities between us like we are born in the same year and one day apart also being the same ethnicity which is rare for me. they noticed this too and jokingly said what if we were soulmates. the first time we met i felt comfortable w them and i even remember messaging my group of friends “i’m in love”. even though we had similarities i also felt we were drastically different as well like personality wise. even then i was drawn to them and had this affinity towards them. sad to say this only lasted 3 and a half weeks as i did something to upset them and they had it and just ended things. it’s been about a month since then and i randomly see their name pop up here and there and of course i still think of them. they have completely moved on but i am so curious as to what a twin flame connection is. when i was with them or talking with them it felt intense and like it was moving fast. any thoughts?
submitted by ashketchumm_ to twinflames [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 18:53 dondeestaelbano884 [UPDATE] I finally told my best friend that I loved him

I’m really fulfilled, joyful, and thankful (no pun intended) right now. I posted here about two months ago, because I was starting to get really close to my current best friend, and I wanted help with whether I should tell him that I love him or not, and how I should go about doing that. I’ll link that post here. https://www.reddit.com/FriendshipAdvice/comments/iuebsg/telling_my_m_best_friend_m_i_love_him/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Well, it’s Thanksgiving break now. He’s back in his home state. We won’t see each other again physically until January, but we will FaceTime and have already texted quite a bit in the meantime. But I did it. Right as I was saying goodbye to him and giving him well wishes when he was on his way out of my apartment, I said “I love you”. He said “I love you too, man”. I knew he would do it, but it was something that was still so new to me and so vulnerable for me to do. I used to fear and avoid saying that, because I didn’t want to seem too clingy or intense, and I felt like I didn’t completely mean it whenever I thought about saying it. However, I mean it now. I mean it so much. After he left, I felt so joyful and safe. I started thinking about texting him something starting with “I love you so much, and you’re such a good friend to me”, so I did just that. I started happy crying as I started to type that message, then started adding to it bit by bit for 45 minutes. In that text, I told him that I always have things to look forward to with him. I told him: “you mean so much to me”. I cried for that entire 45 minutes. I don’t think I’ve ever cried longer than that before. When he responded later that night, he said my message made him “immensely happy”. He told me that he loved me, again, and that he was “happy to be my friend”. He said I was a “wonderful friend” as well. You can bet I felt immensely happy, too.
This is by far the closest I have ever gotten to anyone outside of my family, and it feels surreal and unbelievable. He’s my best friend, and he’s a soulmate to me. He told me a couple weeks ago that I fill a niche for him in his life, which made me feel really good. I hoped to have a friend who put as much effort into me as I put into them and who I could tell absolutely everything to for years, especially when my relationship with my boyfriend started tanking into toxicity and controlling behaviors on his end. Additionally, I wanted to have a guy friend. Since I’m bisexual, I have always become friends with girls easier. I live by the philosophy that you don’t need x number of male friends and y number of female friends and z number of nonbinary friends, but I always wanted to have a close guy friend. I wanted someone I could talk about guy shit, masculinity, working out, shoes, battles with accepting my sexuality, running, etc. with. Now, I have that. I am so thankful and taken aback that my hopes have come true and that what I have now is even better than what I hoped for. I needed him so badly in my life, and now he’s here. He is so kind to me and the opposite of the stereotypes of straight, athletic, attractive guys I had in my mind for years.
Sometimes, you hope and hope and hope for something but you never know how, when, or even if it’s going to materialize. You hope so much that you start using that image of your hope as a missing person’s poster. Who fits it? When will they be found? What do they look like? How will you know you’ve come across them? You try to make things happen with multiple friendships or relationships. You initially think some of them might be what you’re looking for, but they turn out to be not as good as you expect. You keep trying, but you think about it less, because you don’t have faith that your efforts and that the world will deliver it to you. Suddenly, your kindness is noticed. Then, it is reciprocated. You jump on that chance, because you have so much to give that is welling up and gushing out of you. You start to give it, and you receive just as much positive energy back. Just as you started to think that maybe you would just have to settle for what you have, something even better than what you hoped for and needed comes along and changes everything.
Thank you so much, Aidan. I love you so much. I really needed you. You are such a bright and warm light in my life. I’m always going to appreciate you and cherish everything I get with you. I want you and my relationship with you to be with me until I die.
submitted by dondeestaelbano884 to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 11:27 det0xing I feel physically sick and need advice!

So, there is a psychic who I have seen on a few occasions and many so-called predictions have come true.
Yesterday we were talking about how I am dating someone post-divorce and things are going well.
She said he’s an OK gentleman but someone else is going to make themselves known to me in the next few days, before I travel to meet the person I am dating.
This person is more suited to me and a potential soulmate, apparently.
Now... I have received a text just now from someone who I have never met but we exchanged numbers on a dating app a very long time ago.
The message said: Very random but shall we finally meet up for a drink tonight?
I am stunned. I want to say no and be loyal to the person I am dating. I like the person that I am dating.
However, what the psychic told me has just messed my head a little.
Any advices? Please. I already have diagnosed anxiety and now I’m slightly freaking out.
submitted by det0xing to Psychic [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 06:47 autobuzzfeedbot 17 Awkward Moments You’ve Definitely Had If You’re Currently Single

  1. When wedding season starts, and it just doesn't...stop.
  2. Oh, and attending weddings is ✨ expensive ✨.
  3. That time you thought you were being smooth on a first date, but you were actually just being awkward.
  4. Sometimes, impressing your crush with your sense of humor doesn’t work.
  5. Whenever you're out in public, you think everyone is secretly in love with you.
  6. Rom-coms just don't really work the same way in real life.
  7. Texting your crush can be a little complex.
  8. And then sometimes — when you finally figure out how to reply — you get left on read.
  9. When you have no idea what to do after making eye contact with someone.
  10. These days, you have to get creative to find your soulmate.
  11. But then not every encounter is like those meet-cute scenes in the movies.
  12. Every dating app conversation is just awkwardly generic small talk.
  13. And sometimes, the conversations just don't ~start~.
  14. Swiping on profiles starts giving you déjà vu.
  15. Shooting your shot feels like this.
  16. When you show up to family holiday parties single. Again. ❤️
  17. And lastly, the fact that you thought 2020 was gonna be ~your year~.
Link to article
submitted by autobuzzfeedbot to buzzfeedbot [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 00:28 TRawRunsTrains I just ruined a two year relationship with the one.

I (20M) just ruined a two year relationship with my best friend and my soulmate (20F). We met at a party over summer in 2018 before we went to college. We weren’t together and we’re just talking on the phone here and there. We met in Texas and I went on to a college in Oklahoma that Fall while she stayed local. I was hoeing around in college and having fun off on my own for the first time but she was different than anyone else I had talked to. We talked on the phone for hours for months on end and gradually I convinced her to make the drive up to spend a weekend with me for fun. One weekend turned into multiple return trips of her driving hours to come see me. We instantly hit it off and got along. I settled down for once and thought this was my person. I was head over heels in love with her. We started dating and keeping in touch more and more. She made me the happiest I’ve ever been.
Fast forward a bit and we’re very serious about our relationship. We work things out to the point where we both transfer to a feeder community college in Texas where she can finish her medical program there and I can keep working towards transferring to the university right next door for an engineering degree and we can be together. I got my own apartment and she lived with a friend that decided to transfer there with her and explore college, but over time they grew apart so she would spend days to weeks at my place. We got along great, cooked, went on dates, and had tons of fun together. Everyday she would come home and we’d spend the night going out, hanging out, or just relaxing. Months of happiness and joy, few hiccups because when we first started dating I had a temper, but she was my peace. She worked with me to help solve my issues and with communication and with time, we smoothed things out and grew to be happier and better than ever.
Fast forward again to SummeFall 2020 and I couldn’t get into the university nearby because it very was prestigious and my grades honestly just weren’t good enough. However, I got accepted to another engineering program at a university in Texas hours away and after contemplating it, I took the offer to further my career. We were going to be apart for around two years and after getting our degree, get back together better than ever. We both hoped that we could make the relationship work like the long distance part of the beginning of our relationship but our hopes were short lived.
School has sucked. I left all my new friends and girlfriend, who I thought to be the one, hours away. Online school made it even harder to make new friends here, and learning engineering was abysmal, especially when the course load started picking up. I felt lonely. My girlfriend worked full time while she was completing her program and already didn’t have a lot of time for a relationship, however, what little time she did have she spent on the phone with me or trying to talk.
Around September-October time, class work and life started to pick up to the point for both of us where we weren’t nearly talking as much. Even when we were on the phone, it would be a quick surface level 20 min chat then fall sleep asleep. We quit communicating and I feel guilty for not speaking up and asking for some time for us. My loneliness grew to a point where I was regretting moving down here and away from everyone and felt selfish.
To make matters worse, my selfishness doubled when late October I downloaded Bumble and Hinge to meet girls nearby. I know they’re dating apps, but my intentions weren’t to have sex or find the next person to date. I was looking for someone else’s attention to talk to to fill the void and feel validated. After two days of talking to random people, the guilt and shame consumed me. I told my girlfriend that I reached out to other girls to help and comfort me instead of her. I told her how I was missing her and us and that I could feel our relationship tearing. She was heartbroken. Her biggest fear when I moved had become reality and every ounce of trust was gone.
We went from talking everyday or night to nothing. I’ve tried reaching out to apologize and beg for forgiveness but she’s done. She makes it abundantly clear this is over and she’s moving on. I broke her heart. I talk with my family and her family often about it and everyone says this is just a matter of waiting and time but I know her better than that. They think I just need to better myself and in time this will work. They think she will find herself and love herself again and we can grow back stronger than ever but I know when she makes up her mind there’s nothing that can change it and she’s set on breaking up.
I’m writing this to vent and ask for any advice. I genuinely thought she was my person and she felt the exact same way. We planned our careers, houses, kids, family plans, goals, and passions around our relationship. We love each other and both miss each other deeply but she won’t pickup when I call or respond to anything. I’m trying to do no contact but I just can’t stick to it. I’m constantly checking my phone to see if she called or texted. I’m always checking her socials to see what she’s up to. I can’t go a day without thinking about her or us.
I hate myself for the mistakes I’ve made and the way I’ve taken her for granted. She was the sweetest and I wish I could go back and giver her the world. All the times I’ve been toxic, yelled, cussed, made her cry, and didn’t appreciate her ring in my head daily and make me realize she deserves better. But all the times I’ve changed and grown to be better for her, all the times I’ve made her smile, motivated her, and all the memories of us having the times of our lives are pushing me to be a better man and keep trying. I’m so conflicted. It makes my stomach sick and makes me regret ever moving down to follow my career.
I don’t want a future with anyone else but her. I don’t want meaningless sex or talking with someone else. I beat myself up everyday about it. I dont know what to do and I’m having a rough time during the holidays.
If you’ve read this far then thank you very much. Any advice or guidance would mean a lot. Writing this was much needed and in the mean time I’m just working out and trying to enjoy my family. :)
submitted by TRawRunsTrains to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 22:55 TRawRunsTrains I just ruined a two year relationship with the one.

I (20M) just ruined a two year relationship with my best friend and my soulmate. We met at a party over summer in 2018 before we went to college. We weren’t together and we’re just talking on the phone here and there. We met in Texas and I went to a college in Oklahoma while she stayed local. I was hoeing around in college and having fun off on my own but she was different. We talked on the phone for months and gradually I convinced her to make the drive up to spend a weekend with me for fun. One weekend turned into multiple return trips of her driving hours to come see me. We instantly hit it off and got along. I settled down for once and thought this was my person. I was head over heels in love with her. We started dating and keeping in touch more and more. She made me the happiest I’ve ever been.
Fast forward a bit and we’re very serious about our relationship. We work things out to the point where we both transfer to a feeder community college in Texas where she can finish her medical program there and I can keep working towards transferring to the university right next door for an engineering degree and we can be together. I got my own apartment and she lived with a friend that decided to transfer there with her and explore college, but over time they grew apart so she would spend days to weeks at my place. We got along great, cooked, went on dates, and had tons of fun together. Everyday she would come home and we’d spend the night going out, hanging out, or just relaxing. Months of happiness and joy, few hiccups because when we first started dating I had a temper, but she was my peace. She worked with me to help solve my issues and with communication and with time, we smoothed things out and grew to be happier and better than ever.
Fast forward again to SummeFall 2020 and I couldn’t get into the university nearby because it very was prestigious and my grades honestly just weren’t good enough. However, I got accepted to another engineering program at a university in Texas hours away and after contemplating it, I took the offer to further my career. We both hoped that we could make the relationship work like the long distance part of the beginning of our relationship but our hopes were short lived.
School has sucked. I left all my friends and girlfriend, who I thought to be the one, hours away. Online school made it even harder to make new friends here, and learning was abysmal, especially when the course load started picking up. I felt lonely. My girlfriend worked full time while she was completing her program and already didn’t have a lot of time for a relationship, however, what little time she did have she spent on the phone with me or trying to talk.
Around September, October time, class work and life started to pick up to the point for both of us where we weren’t nearly talking as much. Even when we were on the phone, it would be a quick surface level 20 min chat then to sleep. We quit communicating and I feel guilty for not speaking up and asking for some time for us. My loneliness grew to a point where I was regretting moving down here and away from everyone and felt selfish.
To make matters worse, my selfishness doubled when late October I downloaded Bumble and Hinge to meet girls nearby. I know they’re dating apps, but my intentions weren’t to have sex or find the next person to date. I was looking for someone else’s attention to talk to to fill the void and feel validated. After only two days of talking to random people, the guilt and shame consumed me. I told my girlfriend that I reached out to other girls to help and comfort me instead of her. I told her how I was missing her and us and that I could feel our relationship tearing. She was heartbroken. Her biggest fear when I moved had become reality and every ounce of trust was gone.
We went from talking everyday or night to nothing. I’ve tried reaching out to apologize and beg for forgiveness but she’s done. She makes it abundantly clear this is over and she’s moving on. I broke her heart. I talk with my family and her family often about it and everyone says this is just a matter of waiting and time but I know her better than that. They think I just need to better myself and in time this will work. They think she will find herself and love herself again and we can grow back stronger than ever but I know when she makes up her mind there’s nothing that can change it and she’s set on breaking up.
I’m writing this to vent and ask for any advice. I genuinely thought she was my person and she felt the exact same way. We planned our careers, houses, kids, family plans, goals, and passions around our relationship. We love each other and both miss each other deeply but she won’t pickup when I call or respond to anything. I’m trying to do no contact but I just can’t stick to it. I’m constantly checking my phone to see if she called or texted. I’m always checking her socials to see what she’s up to. I can’t go a day without thinking about her or us.
I hate myself for the mistakes I’ve made and the way I’ve taken her for granted. She was the sweetest and I wish I could go back and giver her the world. All the times I’ve been toxic, yelled, cussed, made her cry, and didn’t appreciate her ring in my head daily and make me realize she deserves better. But all the times I’ve changed and grown to be better for her, all the times I’ve made her smile, motivated her, and all the memories of us having the times of our lives are pushing me to be a better man and keep trying. I’m so conflicted. It makes my stomach sick and makes me regret ever moving down to follow my career.
I don’t want a future with anyone else but her. I don’t want meaningless sex or talking with someone else. I beat myself up everyday about it. I dont know what to do and I’m having a rough time during the holidays.
If you’ve read this far then thank you very much. It means a lot and writing this was much needed. :)
submitted by TRawRunsTrains to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 19:03 neon_lost My ex moved on too soon

My (21m) ex girlfriend (19) and I were together for 8 months. She has very strict parents and broke up with me because she said she couldn’t keep lying and sneaking around, even though I had met them many times and they liked me. Her parents didn’t want her to be in a relationship.
Just as a note, the whole relationship I always felt like I was putting in more effort than her, but I kept making excuses because she has a hard home life. I was afraid to tell her that I felt like I was being neglected. I’d listen to her forever, she wouldn’t do the same. I’d spend hours baking for her and her family, I’d get barely any thanks at all. The only time I felt appreciated was when we had sex. I just felt like I was being taken for granted, that I was just some older male figure that she could use and wear on her arm.
When she broke up with me she told me I’m her soulmate, that she wants to be best friends with me forever and that she’ll ask to marry me when she moves out of her parents’ house (all stuff she had said many times before). She’s told me several times since breaking up with me that she loves me as more than a friend. She also specified that we could still be friends, just that we couldn’t have sex or do anything physical because she didn’t want to sneak around her parents anymore, and I was very down with that. We were on good terms and still talking.
She asks to hang out for my birthday a few days ago, and we get food and walk in a park together. This is exactly three weeks after breaking up with me. Get back to my car, she asks to kiss me, and I can’t say no. I’m still in love with her and extremely attracted to her. It was what I was dreaming of since she broke up with me. Then she asks to do more stuff, and then to have sex with me. I couldn’t say no, I was so overwhelmed with desire. During it, she says she loves me and that she missed my dick. Then later she sends me a screenshot of her period trackecalendar app and we had sex a day before she ovulated, worst possible timing for her getting pregnant. We were careful but I bought a plan b pill and gave it to her the next day.
But, on the calendar she sent, I saw two other days with condom symbols and she said “those [condom symbols] are mistakes I haven’t fixed yet. Just btw” before I could even ask. I stay awake all night wondering, then I ask her the next day again if she had sex with other people, and she admitted that she lied to me.
She had sex with another guy 10 days after breaking up with me... and then again four days after that. She fucked this guy twice in the same week, and she lied about it to me. I feel so hurt and devastated. She literally said she couldn’t be with me because she couldn’t keep sneaking around her parents, and then she does that exact thing just 10 days after breaking up with me. So she lied about why she broke up with me, and she lied about having sex with another guy. And, the first time we talked about sex she literally said “sex should be with someone you really care about.” So she either cares about him more than me or sex isn’t that serious for her. It’s just that sex is a really big deal to me.
I can’t stop thinking about the image of her fucking the other guy, of her moaning on some other guy’s dick, of her going to fuck him because I wasn’t good enough. 10 days is so so soon it makes me feel like our relationship didn’t mean that much to her. And if she really loved me I don’t think she would fuck another guy. I know I still can’t imagine having sex with another person besides her, I get nauseous. I had the thought like “oh yeah? well I’m gonna find another girl to fuck too!” And I felt so extremely sick, I can’t do it. She took my virginity, she was my first girlfriend, she was the first person I fell in love with. I know we have different ideas about sex because her body count was 7 before the relationship and mine was 0. But still, I feel so used. I never would have had sex with her then if I knew she had already fucked another guy twice in one week (which was as often as we ever had sex).
I’m just so confused. She must have been talking and flirting with that guy while we were together. I hate to even think about it but I’ve also had thoughts that maybe she cheated on me and that’s the real reason she broke up with me, she was just too scared to tell me. Does anyone have any thoughts? I just want her to tell me the truth but now that I know she’s a liar I don’t know if I’ll ever know the truth. I just need closure, I need to know the real reason she dumped me so I can move on. I feel like she broke up with me to be with the other guy, he must be better than me in every way, he must be better at sex since that’s so important to her, it feels like everything I did for her means nothing. I feel like I’m dying
Thank you for reading❤️
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2020.11.26 11:42 PuzzledEase5256 Does anyone know a person who met their SO through a dating app?

I'm curious if any of you know anyone who actually met their soulmate via tinder or okcupid? Do these apps actually work?
submitted by PuzzledEase5256 to OkCupid [link] [comments]